Matchmaking

sex position wooden die

Turn your fantasies into reality.

Time flies, and our resident matchmaker, Nita, is available to help us make kinky connections and great new friends as we relax/play/bond throughout the Boundless weekend.

Before Boundless

Please share a few details with her about the type of experience or play partner(s) you are seeking for the weekend or the type of play you might be interested in giving/receiving.

During Boundless

Nita will be at Boundless the entire weekend. Boundless staff (in red tank tops) can point you in her direction.

Examples:

Hey, BoundlessNita, can you help me find someone experienced with caning so that I can try it this weekend?

I’m camping solo… can you introduce me to some folks?

My sub needs to be blindfolded and to suck a few cocks to see if she can really recognize her owner as she claims……Do you know a few guys interested in assisting me with that task?

 See you at camp!!

BoundlessNita on FetLife

 

Kink, Art, and Communication

Venn diagram kink

Kink, Art, and Communication…three things you can go crazy trying to define. Anyone who’s ever gotten suckered into the “What is Art” conversation knows this. A teacher of mine says “the communication is what got communicated”. That is, the intent doesn’t matter and the words don’t matter…only what landed, what was perceived.

I usually side step the Art question with the assertion “Art is Art if it moves me.” I have no clue what Art is for you. Another response to this question that I really like was the late Marshall McLuhan’s “Art is whatever you can get away with.”

Thinking along those lines, playing with those ideas, extrapolating…maybe Kink is the stuff that turns you on and leaves you feeling like you got away with something.

Bear with me.

Most kinksters I have known share a love of finding and (consensually) pushing edges…their own and others’. We find that edge and whether we choose to back away from it, play with it or push past it, we get a thrill from that finding. It bears reminding that many people in the world do not get a thrill from finding their edges erotically or socially. For many, many people that is an experience to be avoided at all costs. Kinksters call it Growth.

If you made a Venn diagram of the sensual desires and habits of most humans, I think you’d find that most of it is overlap. There simply are some basic moves…stroke, touch, kiss…that most people share. And if you took 10 people and did their little Venn diagram you’d probably find that even the parts that don’t overlap are not so far out there for the other folks that you’d get in trouble for asking for it or offering it. They’d be like, “yeah, I used to do that because my ex liked it” or “tried it…not a huge fan”.

But then there’s your little non-overlapping part. And mine.

It’s likely ours would take some serious conversation and are usually not first date material if you didn’t meet at a play party or through Fetlife. More the shame…the non-kink world frequently needs a lot of preparation for straight conversations about what’s a turn on and what is a no-go. It leads to all kinds of improper, non-consensual edge finding and boundary pushing IMO.

If your non-overlapping parts are things that you’re pretty sure no one would assume you do and that you’re pretty sure would raise a few eyebrows at the very least…maybe that’s your kink. Look, for some people that’s doing it with the lights on. For others, a blow job will blow their mind forever and they’ll titter about it to their BFF but only after three glasses of wine. For our purposes at Boundless those people are as kinky as anyone else if they’re standing at that edge and respectfully challenging themselves in some way.

Maybe the greatest challenge for you that you will explore at Boundless is just to communicate an honest desire to another human being. Maybe you’ll even ask to have that experience. Maybe not.

We don’t care what you do or with whom you do it if you’re all into it. We care that you do it honestly, that you come to know yourself a little more deeply, and that you walk away a better person and a better kinkster than you were before.

The kind of kink we’re looking to foster at Boundless is about learning. Our Kink is about growing. Boundless Kink is deeply rooted in trust, respect and communication. Most of all, this kink is not about coasting.

You Are Kinky

Bunny costume on pier

“Stop saying you’re not kinky. Just because you don’t think you are doesn’t mean you’re not.”

And I realized that I was. I am kinky.

But, for many years, I never defined myself as kinky:

  • I did not play the way others play.
  • I did not have the toys that others own.
  • I did not wear the costume that others wear.
  • I did not attend the events that others attended.



Witnessing scenes that pushed boundaries, acts of personal moral ambiguity, and visions of depravity. When you surround yourself with people who easily identify with being part of a kink community – those who’s power exchange is vastly more pronounced than yours – it can be easy to feel that deviation.

And yet, fundamentally, I am kinky.

My mistake is that I was comparing myself. To my friends. To people I saw at play spaces. To the stories I heard about. When we compare ourselves to others, we sometimes lose sight of ourselves and our relational perspectives. By defining myself as I was doing with others, I was shorting myself. Kink doesn’t come in one particular flavor or even flavors, but a vast array of delights that seem endless. Such things aren’t binary.

It wasn’t until a friend reminded me that what we see in others doesn’t define us or who we are. Just because I don’t do those things doesn’t diminish my passions towards other experiences. It’s okay not to feel the pleasures that others may indulge in. I enjoy things that they may have no interest in. And that’s okay. Focus on what turns you on. My pleasures are mine and to those I choose to share with.

You’re kinky, trust yourself on this.

Dungeon Etiquette

black leather couch

We encourage people bring dungeon equipment such as slings, crosses, and spanking benches to Boundless’ indoor and outdoor dungeons. And one of the greatest things about the Boundless dungeons is that it is deep within a 260 acre valley. That means you can make as much noise as you want without disturbing the neighbors!

If you are new (and shy) reach out to any of the organizers. You will be paired with an appropriate mentor to educate, guide and assist you.

Dungeons are a place of exploration, discovery, comfort, edge, and delight. Every one does it differently, and there are some rules to make the experience more enjoyable for everyone.

  • Respect the venue
  • Ask before touching
  • NO always means no
  • Clean up after yourself
  • Be conscious of the scene space
  • Do not interrupt an ongoing scene
  • Default safeword is always SAFEWORD
  • Respect confidentiality and people’s privacy
  • Prior consent does not provide future consent
  • Find a host if you have concerns or feel uncomfortable

Don’t forget about our one core rule from the Rules and Community Contract:

Don’t be a jerk.

Obtaining Consent

woman's back neck exposed showing collar

You’ve already read the Rules and Community Contract, right? Good.

Here’s a good reminder for everyone of the rules of obtaining consent when at Boundless:

  1. Do not interrupt someone else’s scene verbally, physically, or by being a distraction to them.*
  2. Do not touch without consent.
  3. Prior consent does not imply present consent. Just because they enjoyed it with you in the past does not mean they want it now.
  4. If you are intoxicated, realize your judgment is impaired. Take your mental state into consideration. You are responsible for your actions 100% of the time, regardless of your mental state. Period.

* The only possible exception to this if you feel there is a legitimate emergency or unsafe situation the players are clearly not aware of. In that case, bring it to the attention of a Dungeon Monitor first. If you can’t, or if none is available, standard Dungeon Etiquette would be to discretely get the attention of the Dom/Top of the scene first if you are able to. Please use your best judgement in situations like this. Do not interrupt active scenes or interact with players unless invited to do so, even if it’s just to express appreciation for the scene. Wait until the scene is over and the players have had a chance to come back to ‘normal’ space before interacting with them…and then still wait for an invite to interact.


The foundation of Boundless has been growing and evolving for over ten years now, but one thing that has never changed is our agreed upon rules of obtaining consent before touching, playing with or engaging in anyone’s, body or personal space. Despite the relaxed environment, this is a hard limit for our community.

One of the great strengths of Boundless is the diversity of people who attend. We have people who have been playing for years, and people who have never played before. With that diversity of experience and backgrounds come different expectations around what consent means and what the Boundless community standards are on the topic.

A Word of Advice to the Consentee

It is our community standard that everyone always has permission to state their boundaries and to have them respected and heard by others. So please, be honest and fearless in saying what you do and do not want. If someone has made a judgment error, call them on it and get help doing so if you need to. Of course, the best time to deal with having a boundary crossed is right when it happens. We know that sometimes that can be triggering and difficult to do in the moment. If you find yourself having difficulty talking about a crossed boundary with the person who crossed it, please know you can always bring this up with any of the other Boundless organizers. Remember, ultimately you are responsible for communicating your boundaries, and you are in an environment that will support you in doing so.

Pool and Hot Tub

jumping into the pool

What’s super-duper awesome? We’ve got a swimming pool and large hot tub for our use. What’s less than cool? Smoking and glass containers in the pool area. Seriously, don’t be that person.

Just to reiterate the two big rules in the pool area:

  1. there will be absolutely no smoking
  2. no glass containers of any kind

Splashing is fine unless someone asks you to stop. You can run if you really want to, but otherwise, don’t be a jerk by the pool.

Participation

illustration of woman suspended in bondage

You have been PERSONALLY invited to participate. One of the biggest manifestations of Respect and Reciprocity is participating in the necessary work of this event.

In a group, it’s easy to assume that “someone else” will wash the sink full of dishes after dinner, or clean up the lawn on Sunday morning while you eat breakfast and break camp. Your participation shows respect for the organizers, for your fellow campers and for Boundless, by volunteering for a shift doing trash patrol, kitchen duty or greeting. If you like, you can be an all-around star, and try your hand at everything!

Reciprocity and respect manifest when you wash not only your dishes, but the other 10 dishes in the sink, as well. Grab a bag and do spontaneous acts of trash patrol. Assume that you are the “someone else” who can take care of the something that needs to be done. There is no reason to be heroic in your efforts, just pay attention to the space around you, and own it. It is simultaneously yours, mine, and ours!