Obtaining Consent

You’ve already read the Rules and Community Contract, right? Good.

Here’s a good reminder for everyone of the rules of obtaining consent when at Boundless:

  1. Do not interrupt someone else’s scene verbally, physically, or by being a distraction to them.*
  2. Do not touch without consent.
  3. Prior consent does not imply present consent. Just because they enjoyed it with you in the past does not mean they want it now.
  4. If you are intoxicated, realize your judgment is impaired. Take your mental state into consideration. You are responsible for your actions 100% of the time, regardless of your mental state. Period.

* The only possible exception to this if you feel there is a legitimate emergency or unsafe situation the players are clearly not aware of. In that case, bring it to the attention of a Dungeon Monitor first. If you can’t, or if none is available, standard Dungeon Etiquette would be to discretely get the attention of the Dom/Top of the scene first if you are able to. Please use your best judgement in situations like this. Do not interrupt active scenes or interact with players unless invited to do so, even if it’s just to express appreciation for the scene. Wait until the scene is over and the players have had a chance to come back to ‘normal’ space before interacting with them…and then still wait for an invite to interact.

The foundation of Boundless has been growing and evolving for over ten years now, but one thing that has never changed is our agreed upon rules of obtaining consent before touching, playing with or engaging in anyone’s, body or personal space. Despite the relaxed environment, this is a hard limit for our community.

One of the great strengths of Boundless is the diversity of people who attend. We have people who have been playing for years, and people who have never played before. With that diversity of experience and backgrounds come different expectations around what consent means and what the Boundless community standards are on the topic.

A Word of Advice to the Consentee

It is our community standard that everyone always has permission to state their boundaries and to have them respected and heard by others. So please, be honest and fearless in saying what you do and do not want. If someone has made a judgment error, call them on it and get help doing so if you need to. Of course, the best time to deal with having a boundary crossed is right when it happens. We know that sometimes that can be triggering and difficult to do in the moment. If you find yourself having difficulty talking about a crossed boundary with the person who crossed it, please know you can always bring this up with any of the other Boundless organizers. Remember, ultimately you are responsible for communicating your boundaries, and you are in an environment that will support you in doing so.

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